Who Can Count the Stars?

by Berneil Mueller, née Rupp

1. Why did Harvey Hiebert, né Hiebert, carry "The Sayings of Abraham Nofziger" in his jacket pocket to the Bethel College Mennonite Church one Sunday morning in May 2005?

2. Why did Harvey Hiebert, né Hiebert, show "The Sayings of Abraham Nofziger" to Berneil Mueller, née Rupp, during a worship service at the Bethel College Mennonite Church?

3. Why did Berneil Mueller, née Rupp, then think that she had to have a copy of "The Sayings of Abraham Nofziger"?

4. Why did Dallas Wiebe, né Wiebe, author of Our Asian Journey (mlr Editions Canada; Waterloo, Ontario, 1997 $30 U.S. and $35 Canadian) and editor of "The Sayings of Abraham Nofziger" send to Berneil Mueller, née Rupp, copies of "The Sayings of Abraham Nofziger" free of charge?

5. Why did Berneil Mueller, née Rupp, and Ted Mueller, né Mueller, feel compelled to read "The Sayings of Abraham Nofziger" to dinner guests?

6. No one who knows Pamela Baillargeon, née Greenman, would ask why she wrote to Dallas Wiebe, né Wiebe, author of Our Asian Journey (mlr Editions Canada; Waterloo, Ontario, 1997 $30 U.S. and $35 Canadian), revealing important information about Abraham Nofziger, né Nofziger.

7. Why would Dallas Wiebe, né Wiebe, author of Our Asian Journey (mlr Editions Canada; Waterloo, Ontario, 1997 $30 U.S. and $35 Canadian), after receiving information from Pamela Baillargeon, née Greenman, say that all Hell broke loose?

8. "Riverrun, past Eve and Adam's from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation."

9. "O seek that beautiful stream."

10. Four-part singing is Om for Mennonites.

11. Particles of truth flit around us like miniscule insets over a sodden bank.

12. Frogs and toads snatch particles of truth and digest them.

13. A commodius vicus of recirculation brings us to bend of bay from swerve of shore past Eve and Adam's riverrun.

14. Old Man River, meet Old Woman River.

15. Ordnung ist nicht alles.

16. Digestion is orderly.

17. Reading is an aid to digestion.

18. What is the end product of digestion?

19. "Reading" and "ranting" both have seven letters.

20. Seven is the number of creation.

21. Ranting clears the spleen and clogs the arteries.

22. Reading edited sayings is like drinking filtered water at the office cooler.

23. Some jobs are like organizing water.

24. God created the world out of contradictions.

25. The original sin is self-consciousness, and not very original.

26. The ludicrous offers salvation.

27. Why would anyone organize a FOAN (Friends of Abraham Nofziger)?

28. "Weisst du wieviel Sternlein stehen an dem grossen Himmelszeit?"

29. Who can count the sayings of Abraham Nofziger?

30. Sayings are an addiction.

31. Sayings are a delusion.

32. Delusion is a precursor to salvation.

33. Cleanliness is next to stuffiness.

34. A joke explained is a joke defoliated.

35. There is no accounting for tastes.

36. "Why do the nations so furiously rage together?"

37. You can't can forgiveness like a peck of green beans.

38. Forgiveness is the purified stream of consciousness.

39. It all boils down to forgiveness.

40. Can Abraham Nofziger forgive Republicans, Columbus, Ohio, Australia, capitalists, Hesston, Kansas?

41. Should he?

42. The streams of consciousness flow into the grand universal unconscious.